its been a while...

When He, my Savior, is my vantage point Selflessness, Humility, and Right Priorities are so much easier to attain. In perspective of my God and all He does for me, Satisfaction is found freely...

I want to fall in love with Your Truth.

Renew my mind, heart, and soul with the reality of Who You are.

a devo...

I was reading Romans today, and I was all excited because chapter 12 talks about the body of Christ which is what I wanted to blog about today because I wanted to blog about our Spring Jamaica Missions Training Camping Trip that happened last weekend... but God had a little bit different dialog to have with me this morning...

Romans 12:9 "Love must be without hypocrisy."

Okay, so I can't be a hypocrite and claim to have good love...

you can't love my children (365 students) while being a hypocrite, yes.

So how do I show them love from that stage?

you could start by just praying for them...

God, You know the distraught, the pain, the heart ache, the desperation of every kid that will come to 365 tonight. You know the contents of the day for each of them, you know all the struggles that they will each face even today... God I'm not asking for you to add to they're pain by no means, but Lord, prepare their hearts. Bring them to a place where they know they need you, or maybe they've given up on all the other 'satisfiers' and have no other place than You to turn too... God, Please let your Holy Spirit convict them, for only your spirit does the work of changing a person. We can't do it. We just present your Word.

God, what is my place in this process of helping change happen? I'm not the preacher, and I'm not the Holy Spirit. I can't conjure up Your Spirit, I can hype up the crowd sometimes but that isn't connecting them with You... As a worship leader, a good description of my job might be a unifier of the body of Christ, leading in cohesive, unified worship of our Savior. But your 'body of believers' in 365 is very small... Most do not love you. Most don't care. So what are my responsibilities to them?

you display My Glory and Faithfulness...lead by My Spirit which also causes the change in their hearts.

Then let me be lead by your Spirit. Open my eyes and heart to what He is saying. Let me feel him and move with him, not against him. So that you're purposes will be accomplished.

a new husband...

I thought I would be happy.

At first it was so wonderful, everything was perfect. He loved me and lived to please me. He gave me everything I wanted, all of my desires he fulfilled! So of course I married him, he was the one!

or so I thought...

It wasn't to long till he started refusing me what he gave me before. I lusted for so many things and even more now that we were married but he refused. And suddenly, the consequences for the things I'd done before were all becoming apparent. The regret and the guilt began to sink in, the more this happened the more passionately I desired and the more I desired the more he refused. The pain and hurt and lack of relief began to pile up.

But then He came along. He truly was perfect. And I don't mean perfect for me, I mean spotless, blameless; He was Truth itself. He told me because He was perfect He could die for me so that I would no longer be bound in marriage to the one I was married too. For when a woman dies, her husband is no longer bound to her and may find a new wife; nor is she bound to him so this Stranger would die for me. So that I could live and chose again.

I couldn't believe it, there must be a catch. My own husband wouldn't do this for me why would you do this?

because I love you.

What?

I Love You. Not because you deserve it, but because I'm perfect.

And so He did it. He didn't even wait for me to except the offer. No, He just went and died that I would have a new life. Unbound from my old husband, he began his alluring tricks again. He acted even sweeter than before and I was almost tempted to return to him... But I couldn't ignore Him. He, the one that died for me. He was wonderful to me. How could I ignore such a love? How could I not want to be joined with a love so deep and so complex that I could not even understand it fully?

"But I have trusted in Your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in Your Deliverance" (Psalm 13:5)

"Therefore, my brothers, you also were put to death in relation to the law through the body of the Messiah, so that you may belong to another-to Him who was raised from the dead-that we may bear fruit for God. For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions operated through the law in every part of us and bear fruit for death. But now we have been released from the law, since we have died to what held us, so that we may serve in a new way of the Spirit and not in the old letter of the law." (Romans 7:4-6)

As women are submissive to their husbands and as they belong to them, so do we submit to sin or become slaves to our Savior.

Boo Proms

Well yall, its offically offical: I hate Prom Season.

I've never been to a prom... and its not cause I've never been asked, for I have been asked a few times and I know of several guys who would have taken me. Its not caues I don't want to go for I very much do. And its not because there were no proms avaliable to me, for there is a homeschool prom, and I've been asked to a few other schools' proms...

The reason is my parents have not allowed me. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I DO NOT RESENT THEM FOR IT. Honestly, I just want to dress up and be all perfectly pretty for one night and take pictures. That might seem really lame... but deep down I think a lot of girls feel this way. They just want a time, even for just a very short while, for it to be all about them and for them to look perfect for just a small time... they want to be captivating.

Thankfully, I know that my God thinks I'm beautiful and is captivated by me. He loves me, He knows me, and He wants so to badly to spend time with me. Me, His creation. And since I've been created in His image and likeness, Him and I share some traits... He wants me to be captivated by Him as well. He wants my voluntary love and affection and attention.

I guess, I hate prom season cause it reminds me of my desire to be captivating... seeing all the pretty girls in their pretty dresses with pretty hair and make up and nails and shoes and jewlery... all trying to be something worth looking at. This desire can fuel so much depression and dispare when not fulfilled.

Reflecting on all of this, I'm reminded of what God sees in me... and how He sees me. He sees me. Not the dress and hair, just me. Thinking about this, I want Him to see a character of beauty; selfless, loving, pure beauty. And although I'm not perfect, so very far from it, when I ask Him, what do you see? I get an answer so much more pleasant than when I ask the pretty prom girls.

...maybe I don't hate prom season that much after all....


Creator,

thank you for making me like you... and thank you for loving me the way you do. i am your crown of creation made in your image and from you springs my beauty. continue to define me.
i love you so...

Well, whadya know!

Okay, you know that first blog I posted...

Well, this is kinda a follow-up post of that post. Yesterday and today I've been practicing what I was preaching in that post and today God totally answered my prayers. I don't want to go into a ton of details but I'd basically been praying God to challenge me, show me what I need to be doing in some certain areas, and that He would speak to me through His word. And He did just that.

Today I was reminded of how real, aware, and concerned for us God really is. He's seemed to show up even in the little things of my day. I just want to encourage each of you: God wants to speak with you, guide you, give you peace, and give you love. He's real. Even when we forget. So don't give up praying. Don't give up reading the Word. He's just waiting for you to be ready for His next appointment with you.

I Got It Now...

I finally figured out today why my Bible reading/Prayer time has been kinda hum-drum of late....

You see, this past summer was really a spiritual awakening for me; between, Honduras, Fasting, and Fine Arts... my whole life has been reshaped. Last summer was also challenging, inspiring, and motivating for me spiritually so when school kicked back in everything was "back to normal" in more ways than I wanted...

P. Jon talked about prayer today in CG, he used the story of Adam and Eve and the Fall of man. Here's Genesis Chapter 3, we mainly looked at verses 7-11 and 21: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=1&chapter=3&version=31. Just like God wanted to communicate with Adam and Eve He also desperately wants to speak with us. And when we do speak to Him we wants us to do two things: (1) tell Him what we need and (2) talk to Him about 'stuff'.

The first part is pretty simple; present your requests to God. Tell Him what you want, need or what you want for other people. Praying for starving children, for your grandma to be healed, or for an iTouch :-) all fall into this category. And if you ask for things God wants to give you then He'll provide them for you just like in verse 21.
That 'stuff' I'm talking about is really all the things in your life. Whether it be sin or something you want God's opinion on or a place in your life where you just need His direction. This part of prayer should be challenging but if you truly are seeking Him he will answer these prayers; it might be in that still small voice, it might be through people, it might be through His word. Bottom line, He WILL answer in one way or another if you are right with Him and continue to seek even when results are not immediate.

I haven't really been doing that Second part lately... I've just kinda been reading and telling God what I need. This short sermon P. Jon preached has really helped me see the importance of confessing my sin and asking God about everything in my life, not just telling Him what I want and sorta reading His word.